Bacon's bad! No, it's good! No, it's on the rocks!

I'm the last person to pay attention to media reports on the health risks of food, on the premise that, much like New England weather, a ten-minute wait will see the wind blowing in the opposite direction (see salt, wine, eggs, et cetera).

But even I was perturbed by the recent revelation that eating processed meats could increase one's risk of cancer. You know what that means? Ham. Sausage.

And ... yes ... (no!) ... yes. Bacon.



If this is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

Apparently, it's also bad for the lungs (what? You're not supposed to snort it, people!!).

Which is why it's so damned agonizing that, in this (slightly tired) age of molecular gastronomy and culinary science, we now have a gajillion ways to celebrate bacon. And as if that weren't enough, there's now a movement--albeit tentative--toward bacon cocktails. It's just not fair.

But wait ... did I just see the weather-vane spin to the west? Have the clouds given way to blue skies? Because now we have a report from UT Houston suggesting that nitrate-rich foods may help heart-attack victims recover more quickly.

So ... we should eat enough bacon to prevent a coronary, but not so much we stop breathing. Oh, it's all so confusing.

I need a drink.